


Harry Gets Pissed

by Analitac



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: basically crack, harry's temper, i dont care, take my bad after 10 writing, voldemort gets a talking to
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:54:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24245335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Analitac/pseuds/Analitac
Summary: Harry has a temper. It's all over the books. What if during the final battle with Voldy, Harry just let go and layed into good ol Tommy
Kudos: 63





	Harry Gets Pissed

**Author's Note:**

> Heads up, this probably sucks. I wrote this without really caring. I just couldn't get it out of my head and needed to put pen to paper... or fingers to keys, in this day and age. Maybe one day I'll go back and rewrite this. Maybe not.

“Times!” The shout rang out across the hall. Everyone collectively stopped and stared around in shock, trying to locate the speaker.

“Oh wait, oops. You don’t know what that means. Pause! Time out! Ceasefire! Temporarily…”

Turns out the speaker was Harry Potter. In the midst of fighting the most dangerous Dark wizard in over sixty years, Harry had called a time out? What?

Everyone in the room starred at Harry in varying degrees of incredulous to outraged to concerned to near gut-bustingly amused. Even Voldemort paused. 

“If you think you can distract me, Potter, this is a feeble attempt.” Voldemort sneered at Harry.

“Oh I’m not trying to gain the upper hand here or anything. I already have it. I just wanted to get something off my chest. See, this is usually the point where the villain, which is you, goes into either some obscenely boring monologue about past woes or a Heil, Hitler! esque speech, while the hero, I, patiently wait for the end where I vanquish you quite easily. This is boring and mainstream. I vote for flipping the script. I get the rights to the speech now.” Harry paused for breath, and Voldemort could only stare at Harry, not quite comprehending what was going on. Even Harry’s friends and mentors were confused and maybe slightly concerned Harry had fallen off the rocker. 

“I have more than one bone to pick with you Voldemort before I kill you. Yeah that’s right, I will kill you, but you’ve been making my life hell since I was a year old. I think I get to rant. You killed my parents when I was a year old! I had to grow up with my mom’s sister. Now, I’m no muggle hater; I think they’ve got a few up on you wizard lot, but the Dursleys can burn in hell for all I care. They forced me to spend the first ten years of my life with them crammed in a cupboard under the stairs. They turned my room into a literal prison after first year. They yelled at and starved me. And the reason I had to go through any of that was because you killed my parents.

“And when I thought I had finally escaped that hell when I came to Hogwarts, you tried to kill me. I was eleven. And you tried to kill me. And oh yeah, I kicked your ass. Then there was second year. Younger you tried to kill me. Fourth year your minion tried to kill me by throwing me into that stupid tournament. And then you tried to kill me, after killing my friend. Then your minion tried to kill me. Again. Fifth year you nearly drove me insane. Then you tried to kill me again, after Trixy killed Sirius. Then in sixth year you had a student do all your dirty work, you sniveling coward! Really, you fail that much at being a man you send a sixteen-year-old to kill your greatest enemy?”

The room recoiled. Draco was cowering a corner with his parents blocking him from view. The professors and Order members were still shocked. Bellatrix looked about ready to murder Harry right there. And Voldemort. Voldemort looked like Harry had pissed in his tea and stomped on his cat, as if Voldy could ever care about a creature “beneath” him.

Harry took a breath and continued, “And how could I forget the entirety of the past year? You and your cheesy gang have been hunting me for the past eight months. Thanks for robbing me of my last year of school, really appreciate that one. 

“And that’s just you and me. That doesn’t include the hell you put my friend’s, this school, and the wizarding world through or the other hells I’ve been through in my life. Lockhart, Umbridge, the Dursleys, Dobby in the beginning, Malfoy, Snape, Dumbledore, puberty… The list goes on. 

“But I digress. For the hell you have put me through you deserve to die. I could take the moral high ground and try to apprehend you and cart your butt off to Azkaban, but I don’t ever want to have to look at or think about you again. So, you get to die. That was never actually in question though; I just needed to vent.” Harry paused expectantly. But Voldemort didn’t do anything.

“Hey Tommy, did you forget how badly you want to kill me? I mean thirty minutes ago you actually did kill me. What are you waiting for? Gimme ya best shot!” Harry pulled back into a dueling stance, his wand at the ready. 

Voldemort pulled himself from his stupor and without warning fired off an, “Avada Kedavra!”

Harry didn’t so much as flinch before returning an “Expelliarmus!” which rebounded Voldemort’s curse and struck him down where he stood. 

Harry turned to the crowd, “you’re welcome,” and stalked for the exit. Harry kept walking until he made it off Hogwarts’ grounds where he apparated to Grimmauld Place and slept for a week. Harry, now dubbed the Boy Who Lived Twice by the Daily Prophet, decided it would be best if he dropped of the radar for a while. So, Harry packed what he needed most, his wand and the clothes on his back, and left. He left England. He left Europe. Harry wandered the world for several years and eventually everyone forgot about the Boy Who Lived and went on with their lives and Harry settled down to hermit-hood in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by great tall trees and kind animals for the rest of his days.


End file.
